Pick a good moment
When possible, talk before sexual activity, in a place where both people can speak freely. Avoid starting sensitive discussions when someone is pressured, intoxicated, frightened or unable to leave.
Be clear and curious
- Share your own boundaries and invite the other person to share theirs.
- Ask about comfort, contraception and barrier use without making assumptions.
- Discuss STI testing and what you each know about possible exposure.
- Agree that either person can pause or stop without needing to justify it.
A conversation starter
“I care about both of us feeling safe and respected. Can we talk about what we are comfortable with, what protection we want to use, and how we will check in with each other?”
If you disagree
A disagreement is a reason to pause, not a reason to pressure someone. Consent cannot be negotiated through threats or repeated coercion. If you feel unsafe, seek trusted support.
Please remember: This guide is general education, not a diagnosis. Seek a qualified healthcare professional for personal medical advice, symptoms, testing or treatment.